Tuesday, September 1, 1998

Football Mania!

Even the youngest Burke afflicted by testosterone induced football mania!

Imagine Karen's plight, living in a house full of men who are convinced they can change the course of a televised football game if they just concentrate hard enough,...

Any addiction is a sad thing. A sports addiction in a house full of boys is something on a completely different level. "Testosterone poisoning" doesn't even begin to capture the gravity of what goes on in this household during the football season.

This photo vividly portrays the state of things. But picking favorite teams and getting uniforms are just the beginning. Both Gerrit and Tucker had web sites devoted to their teams for some time, each of which developed quite a following. Thankfully they seem to have moved on to other pursuits now.

Not so their father. Since 1997, Dad's "NFL Picture" web page, has scored numerous awards and over 350,000 hits (most of which are him, according to the kids). With that kind of encouragement, the site seems to inspire the need to undergo a massive upgrade in each off-season. It's a proven "enabler" for thousands of other pathetic football addicts each season.

Wednesday, July 1, 1998

Family Secrets Revealed!

Happy family? No doubt, but our investigation has uncovered several potentially embarrassing secrets which shed new light on this family's strange past...

Family Pictures Uncover Hideous Facial Hair Mistake!

Most people will confess to having a bad photographic experience with their driver's license, but few would purposely sabotage their looks and then go so far as to include the obvious error in judgment in one of their family portraits. Apparently, the Burkes feel no such restrictions. Check out their Family portraits from the last fifteen years and see (among other things) the hideous mustache of 1995!

Genealogy No Longer in Question as Photo Reveals the Painful Truth!

The faint hope that Dave could somehow explain himself by claiming he was the result of some sort of weird alien encounter was dashed recently when photos revealed irrefutable evidence of his direct connection to the Burke family line. Our photo clearly shows the progression of the unavoidable, if impressive, Burke Schnoz through the generations. Scroll to the picture below to see the evidence, but be warned: the photo may frighten small children and animals!

There is a glimmer of hope for the Burke line, however; the schnoz appears to be getting better with each generation. So, there may yet be hope for the boys. For more information about the Burke family connections, visit our Genealogy Page which includes several ways to explore our relationships to the families: Burke (and Burk), Tucker, Dvorak, Roberts, Rosenbaum, Robbins, Radschlag, Martin and many more.